Untying is a key part of any shibari session, and how you do it makes a difference.
Before we dive into some practical tips, let’s keep in mind that in erotic shibari, there’s no need to stick to rigid patterns—or even to “complete” a tie in the usual sense.
Just churning out the same designs kills spontaneity and limits shibari’s ability to flow with the moment you’re sharing.
It’s not uncommon for students to finish a tie and ask, “Okay, now what?”
That’s why it’s worth thinking about whether your session is about building a specific rope structure—and if so, whether you plan to tie it off neatly.
Whatever you decide, always keep the tension steady and the structure solid for whatever form you’ve created.
When it’s time to close a tie, keep it simple: choose a knot that’s secure and stable but easy to undo.
If you’ve got leftover rope, tuck it neatly into the tie for a clean look or to keep it from getting in the way.
Avoid making “handles” or using up extra rope by wrapping it around the torso or structure—this muddies the tension and makes untying a hassle.
Untying as Part of the Experience
Untying is just as vital to erotic shibari as tying itself.
And here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to signal the end. You can tie, untie, try a new form, untie again, and keep the flow going.
If you think back to the lesson on the emotional arc, we talked about it like a bell curve, with a buildup phase where desire keeps climbing.
In this phase, you don’t need to stick with one tie or shape—mix it up to vibe with the moment.
As long as you’re riding that emotional wave, untying and shifting between forms should feel like part of the play.
Following that emotional arc: once you crest the peak—when the person being tied starts running low on energy to keep fueling desire—that’s your cue to fully untie.
Keeping the Tension Alive
While untying, holding steady tension is crucial. If you let the ropes go slack, the whole structure can collapse, leading to tangled ropes and a trickier untying process.
For the person being tied, losing the ropes’ embrace all at once can feel jarring—going from that snug sensation to nothing isn’t usually pleasant.
To manage tension well while untying, you need to know the structure you’ve built inside out, so you can plan your next move and brace the rope as needed to keep the form taut.